February

Around here the month of February is a tough one. It's not just the weather, which is usually brutally cold and the number of sunny days few and far between. In 2007 my 24 year old sister passed away after a short struggle with an undiagnosed heart problem. two years later, my grandmother's best friend(who was also another grandmother to me) passed away after a terrible struggle with emphysema. She passed away on the same day as my sister. This week, my cousins lost their stepmother to cancer, and the little girl who lives across the street, who has struggled with severe cerebral palsy since birth, was relieved from her struggle as well. I began to ponder what it is about February that it can be both a dark force to some, and a welcoming relief for others. What I have come to believe is this: for those who have been suffering, for those who have struggled, for those who have been in pain, February is a calling home. They are called to and told to just let go. Spring is a time of rebirth after all, and what better time to pass from this physical place to the realm of eternity? For us, February leaves in it's wake sadness, loss,  and a sense of something we cannot get back. But for those who have passed away, it is a welcome relief. A leaving behind of brokeness and pain. It still makes me sad and at times grasping at something I feel I should have had with my sister that I can't have. At least I know she is no longer scared and confused, and in pain. I just hope that for now, February has taken its toll for the year, and we can end the month with sunshine and happiness.